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Name: simply MeMy fiance, of almost 5 years and I meet in college. We are a young interacial couple(im blk and he is white) with beautiful twin 3 year old boys.(im 22yrs old and he is 25yrs old)
When we first meet we had a great sex life, he was my soul mate, we were a perect match. He loved me and i love him.
I caought him on a gay porn site once in college, he brushed it off and said it was nothing. I thought it was wired but let it go. Through out the relationship we have had issiues with taling to other women, mainly his ex girlfriend, which her had an emotional affair with her on and off. I forgave him and moved on, he is a great provider for our family and a great father to our sons.
but for the past year 1/2 i have felt lonely, there is no romance, sex is not often , and he is now a 5 min man or has a hard time getting hard or staying hard. We have had other relationship issiues and he blames the lack of sex, and romance on those other issiues. I know he loves me and is attracted to women because we watch female strippes online and he gets and stays hard when we watch it.
but yesterday is the 2nd time i have caiught free gay porn site and shemale videos tube sites in his phone. The first time i found this crap was 2 yrs ago and i was crushed, he said he was curious and we worked thru it, but now he says Agin that he is curious! and i dont believe it. i have secretly thought i have seen him chekn out men as they walked by, but he just said he was looking that direction. but he says that when he checks out women too.
I know forsure he is attracted to women, but there is some male atraction too, i think, but im not sure. should i end my relationship with him? we have 2 sons and an established relationship! Should we go to councling? I dont know wut to do, But I need answers. All my friend think i should say, and say that he was curious and we should do councling, my step mom says its up to me, but she would levae.
Its hard beacuse he is very masculine and really is attracted to women, and a great guy, we have our isssiues but who dosent? Is he in denail? Shemale porn is a bit extreme? My heart is torn, because i do love him, but dont want to be with a man who may relise he is gay 5 years from now! Please help! (sorry for any spelling mistakes, i was crying while typing)
Name: Joy MarieTo Missing Him
I can imagine your anguish in losing your brother. When I read your note, what came to my mind is that his partner may still be in the closet and because your brother has been open, he may have been asked by his partner to protect him by staying away from everyone that knows he is gay.
Keep loving your brother unconditionally. You will be better for it. I can assure you that he will come around. When people hurt you, they know what they have done and believe me, it haunts them every day whether they ever say they are sorry.
If you really love him, forgive him and do it quickly. It is a decision, not a feeling. It will free you and your love and forgiveness will break off those bad feelings between the two of you.
Peace and Love
Name: JOYCEnever let the womanising, which is a cover up fool you. while we are wondering why they don't want us, its because we are not a man. so many have wondered whats up with the emotional unavailability, drinking, disapearing until wee hours, always accusing us etc. sometime we know n dont wanna know. when i finaly left i didn't know, but now i do. I'm in a search for answers now, and it shouldn't even matter. I am buying the book tommorow!
Name: ommittedi have been married for over 20 yrs, now separated. in my situation it was drinkinG and time he spent away from home and his emotional absence that made me wonder. there was a incident when we were in a store late one night and he spoke to 2 gay guys apparently that he knew, supposedly from work. i always thought there was something suspect about that run in. in still rrying to be friends, i am often put off when he is visited very often, late night by a male friend. he seems so excited an even giiddy on occasion. he always tried to put the blame on me for our problems. i thought it was his alcoholism, but realy that was just part of the problem. Beware if they use other women as a cover.. i left with my dignity, and peace of mind, & THANK GOD NO DISEASES!
Name: JessicaI am 25 years old and I thought 4 years ago that I had met the man of my dreams. He was loving, affectionate, and very thoughtful. He was also successful and close to his family. We lived in two different cities, and managed to keep things going strong for about a year and a half. Then, I relocated to his city and left my job, school, and friends behind. I felt like this was the right things to do at the time. He is 11 years older than I am. Things were going great for about a year into the relationship when a bad argument occurred one evening. This caused him to "go take a drive to cool off." Something didn't feel right, so for the first time ever, I figured out how to access his phone records and discovered that he had called and visited with a Transexual hooker and then came right back into bed with me. This put me at risk for HIV and any other STD, along with breaking my heart into tiny pieces. When I confronted him, he did admit it, but claimed it was a weird fetish and that he was NOT gay. That's hard for me to believe that a straight man would have oral and anal sex with another man if he was straight. Especially, paying to have sex. He insisted that he wasn't attracted to to men and that is why he chose TS hookers, since they has breast implants, long hair, and work women's clothing and makeup. I didn't really know how to sort this out. I was ashamed to tell my friends and family. Against my better judgement I stayed with him and thought I could help him through his sexual addiction. Big mistake, he continued to do the same thing. He has been supporting me and is the closest person that I have in this city. I don't have the ability to leave now but I am saving up to do so as soon as possible. This book has helped me realize not to overlook the risks of staying in a situation like this. I have also been able to see a unique perspective that shows such a lack of empathy and compassion that a man could have to do this to a women. I feel like the only reason for me in his life is to keep this perfect cover going for his family and friends. He has always been the one wanting to move forward, get engaged, and, married. Thank god I found this out before things moved passed an engagement. This has been super difficult for me due to the odd man/women in one issue. Some people think men that like Transexual's aren't gay. I disagree. When the lights are off, it's two men having sex.
Name: missing himMy brother and I were as close as sibblings can be, My mother became ill when he was 7 and I was 19. I became mother/sister/best freiend. He is openly gay and very supported by all of us, however he has recently moved in with his new love and has quickly turned against us all. Cruelty I can not even put pen to paper...and this from a man I loved withpot condition. I cant completely blame his new patner , but that is where my anger is focused. He now lies, omitts and has structured rules as to when we can conyact him, the lying and the loss of my best friend is sending me to daily tears. I have been out of work for 1.5 years and he and his paetner reveal in beating me when I am down.
I am lost without his friendship and love.
Name: WomanI havent read the book yet but it has been ordered. But the reason im here is because im in a realationship with a guy that may be gay. We have been together for two years and ive gotten all types of emails from unknown ppl saying hes gay. This person even forward emails from his acct chating on gay websites. Five months ago i went through his phone and saw him texting a friend that he brought up in our previous conversatuons, but he was telling the friend and he wanted him and how he was so sexy. But when i came to him about it he said his friend is gay but hes not and hes just being a friend saying things that makes him feel comfortable with his sexuality. Since then i have seen pics of men and gay sites in his web history. Ive asked him was he bi or even curious but he denies both. Im put it aside for a while and has tried to believe him but i know hes gay. Ive been doing alot of research on men with women but perfer men and i dont understand how someone could be so selfish! I honestly need help and someone to talk to because he hasnt come out the closet and im afraid of being judged by my family and friends. I love him and we have a fairly good relationship at times but i believe that our problems are because hes not sure of himself and this is just a cover up. A few ppl has past judgement and assumed he was gay but he keep saying its not true! He leaves at night to hang with friends ive never met and he text out of town numbers daily. I believe those are ppl he mets online. i want out but he keep denying the situation and i dont know what to do!
Name: Recently Devastated.Im a 26 yr old single mother to an 8 yr old. I just found out this Saturday that my boyfriend is gay. I needed to use his computer. As soon as I got on his secret email account was up. I saw everthing. Mostly men responding to his men seeking men post on craigslist post. I saw where he sent pic of hiself and they sent it to him..... sorry im crying as i type. He also discribed what he was into sexually and they did the same. As he said "I Love You " to one he was meeting up with the next one.
He was at a funeral at the time. I text what i found, he called stating he is rushing home and wanted to talk. I couldnt even look at him. I grabbed my things crying to my best friend and left to my mothers house.
This happen 3/20/2011 it is now 3/24/2011 at 2 am in th morning and Im still crying. I have blocked his number I had took him off my Facebook. He has not called or text since then. But I have called him crying in the middle of the night asking why.
My world will never be the same. While we were talking about marraige he was saying i love you to a man.
He explained what he claims is the whole thing. we been together for 5yrs and he been doing this for 3 of them. He started looking at gay porn in college he stated. He was just curious then. 2 yrs in our relationship when he started putting out craigslist adds to men. Now that I recall that was the time we started having problems. We had sex but they way he acted you would thought it was a chore for him. He had a hard time getting it up. He didnt initiate sex anymore like he use to.
He claims he is bi but he only cheated on men with me. So i dont believe that. I never experienced heart break on this level. The bad part is he said i wasnt available that why he did what he did.
Im been depressed, sometimes thinking suicide, but because i have a son to live for i just feel like im fuctioning but not all there.
I been online research this down low thing. The only they that they have say is that they are not being accepted and have a hard time accepting thereselves. But my issuse with that is it is at the expensive of the women, heart, mind, body and the worst our soul.
I have a great family but I still need therapy after hopefully I can be whole again.
Name: Free MeI have been married for 6yrs & have confronted my husband about being GAY & all I get is an angry, "don't call me gay". My husband told me before we married, that his 1st wife at 25 said the same thing, I now know this was to throw me off. He claims Los sex drive, even at age 25. But never did anything about the Los sex drive till recently after I nagged & nagged due to our awful sex life. We met when I was 33, and we didn't have sex on the night of our marriage because we argued the day before! But he cried during the ceremony! I was in disbelief. Then after our marriage, I noticed that the only time we had sex was when I initiated or made subtle frustrating comments. It's all a routine. He does oral, then we do it missionary style for abt 5mins that's it! So mechanical!!! He never asks for me to do him. Now he's 40 and the libido thing according to my readings fits his age bracket. However, I can't seem to believe he had this issue at 24 and 25 although possible. When we first got married, he would leave the house on these visits to visit a friend orvhis dad without open invitation to me or my son who was 3 when we first met. I had to put a stop to that, so now, he never goes anywhere. I just asked if we could go so that we can learn to bond with his friends and family. Because the lack of sex has been an issue since day one, (in which he blamed me by saying, I go to because with took many clothes on, I took them off for a week, he didn't even rub up against me), it has caused any other problems that divert from him to me by saying we argue too much or that I think I'm better than him, etc. I am an intelligent, attractive because I work on it, female. My last boyfriend told me how beautiful my body was constantly and just acted NORMAL. That's why I know in my gut this isn't right. Even when I made sure we got along, because he is a narcissist, still no sex. Okay, 2wks ago at age 40, he finally got his testosterone checked after 15yrs because he has been so called afraid! The games!!!! He barred me from the visit, they told him that they were not that off and all he needed was some Viagra. That's it. Such an idiot, he took that before within the 6 yrs we have been together. Nothing magical happens. So he actually walked away with this as treatment from the dr. Well the medical bills came in and I see where he was tested for chlamydia. And I researched the code and it says that it means you are positive and need a retest...of course he denied it and said that it was apart of the comprehensive exam & he only got tested because he expressed some involuntary urination. I will be investigating this further. Bottom line is my gut says he's different. Btw, I did catch him starring once b4 at a guy. He claimed he wasn't and if so, he was checking out his sport coat. My guy loves to dress. When I diet, he diets. When I work out hard so does he. When we first dated he would always comment on how men looked. And say things like why is she with him, he doesn't look good or whatever negative comment he would want to say. I told him that I didn't think that was normal. He said it was. Then I had to bring my brother into the mix. Btw, I don't know any of my guys friends nor does his family. He is so secretive. For a long time, I thought it was me and my circumstances. I thought I had to change my values bc maybe I was being to hard! He's never changed anything for me that bothered me. Specifically sex. I'm still frustrated and have plans to move forward. I will soon be 40. I am way too young to have his issues on my shoulders as well as being the front person he needs but treats horribly! DL men are narcissists as well. BEWARE!
Name: am i unstable as told?Omg! My book arrived. Im going to go pick it up, i hate to be in denial and i know im in denial.. im so scared and nervous to read it... i know this book is going to change my life and is powerful, so scared.... if anyone want to chat w me and support each other please contact me firstname.lastname@example.org